Past Parents

Sorry that I haven't been updating this blog. It's just that I'm busy with coping with life and its many struggles.

One annoying and distinct thing about my parents is that they were behaving like traditional Chinese parents. They are authoritative and basically my younger days was controlled by them. They believed in the saying "Spare the rod, spoil the child" so I get caned for my little mischiefs. But there was this time I was feeling a little more rebellious, or rather sick of all the caning, and I threw all my mother's canes out of the window.

As a kid, everything I wanted or needed was done by my parents. Everything has to go through my parents and I think this resulted me being shy when I became a  teenager. While my other friends are adventurous and brave, I was pretty tamed. I then realized how much of my youth had I missed out.

I know they are caring and protective but sometimes I just wish that they could let me live my life my own way. Even if it means breaking a few rules or minor laws. Of course, I'd still listen to their words of wisdom and I won't be that stupid to attempt to slash anyone at a young age.

As I grew older during my teenage years, I try to distance myself away from my parents' over-protective and at a point in life, I no longer converse with my parents.

My mom became busy with work and whenever I have a conversation with her, it's so hard to click with her because she sometimes don't really understand what I'm saying and keeps on insisting on her old tradition rules and stuff. We don't live in the past anymore where black and white are so easily distinguishable. We're living in the 21st century where morals are grey and evil deeds are practically ignored because we might get mentally or physically maimed if we interfere

But that doesn't mean I don't uphold my values, morals and beliefs. I do, to an extent because certain situations calls for a different set of actions. I believe what we learn from young is all just theory, but when it comes to practicality, we follow our hearts and try to do the right thing. To further add on, my parents were pretty harsh on imparting the right values and morals to me and I kind of thank them for molding me into a caring young man, albeit loser-ish.

And my Dad, oh don't get me started on him. That guy don't even talks to me, mainly because he doesn't know how to communicate. I know he loves me because he is always getting things and food for me but I just wish that I could talk to him about matters. Like a guy-to-guy kind of talk. But I don't. We never really connected on a father-and-son basis and that, my lecturer, sucks.

So I always find myself divulging family secrets to friends and my friends became some sort of family to me because they listen. Though they may not be there all the time, they listen to me. Parents, on the other hand, don't listen but they are always there whenever I need them.

What a sad irony.